movies


Several years ago I rented an extremely stylized and ultra-aware-of-its-own-cool 1960’s yakuza flick based on a recommendation of it in some one-off piece in the Indy. I then immediately forgot its name, who made it, etc., had long since tossed the issue with that article and have spent the intervening, oh, seven or eight years wishing I could find that movie again. After realizing late - very late - last night that the internet could almost certainly solve this for me I sat down with Netflix and Wikipedia and started the serious hunting. It appears that it’s Tokyo Drifter - the description of the film and the bio of the director certainly fit - and right now it’s on its way to me as we speak.

It is so satisfying to scratch a mental itch that’s lasted nearly a decade.

On a vaguely related note, the 2008 schedule is up for the ESCAPISM festival at the Carolina Theatre of Durham. How stoked am I for this festival? Wicked stoked. It’s going to be tricky for me to schedule around because that’s also the first weekend of early voting, IIRC, and I’m an election judge for early voting but it is totally worth scheduling around to do both of these things. ESCAPISM this year has three things in particular that just make my scalp sweat with desire to see them: The Punisher from 1989, They Live (an all-time favorite of mine) and Something Wicked This Way Comes which, due to election judging, I can’t see. Feh. What this means is that my friends must go see it for me.

The 13th NC Gay & Lesbian Film Festival is over and since yesterday evening I’ve seen two more films.

The Gay Bed & Breakfast of Terror is way, way better than the slasher flick from last year. It’s got a lot of genuinely funny parts and some very good physical comedy in addition to the standard gore. It has a creepy kid (check), tasty beefcake (check) and a few annoying characters one is glad to see offed (check). Unfortunately it takes a little too long winding up the pitch and in the end felt like it had run about fifteen minutes past its shelf life. That said, that is basically all I have in the way of complaints. The slapstick is top-notch, the likable characters are genuinely likable, the camp completely works and the villains chew scenery in fantastic style. Only once did I lean into The Boyf’s ear to whisper, “Jeez, where’s a fundamentalist cannibal when you need one?” There were some serious belly laughs to be had and the audience broke into applause more than once during the course of it. By the same token, I jumped in my seat more than once. Well worth watching.

This morning I caught Boystown, a Spanish film about a string of murders in a gentrifying neighborhood of Madrid. It has a lot of sass and a lot of grunge and a sweet little love story and a hot villain. I think it would make a better date movie than solo excursion - The Boyf was working - but all in all worth getting up early to see. It tended to stick a little closer than I prefer to the arrogant style of attitude-based humor - unlike Tranny McGuyver which manages to be both arrogant and self-deprecating - but it’s extremely well done and a saucier queen than I would probably enjoy it a lot more.

Then I stuck around to watch Tranny McGuyver one more time and just about split my sides seeing it again. I don’t know what it is about that movie - OK, I know: timing, writing and delivery, so the whole package - but that short just slays me.

So far I’ve seen the “Low-Hanging Fruit Basket” collection of shorts, Pageant and the “Queen with the Teetering Tiara” collection.

“Low-Hanging Fruit Basket” was an incredibly mixed bag. It opens with a movie that I guess is supposed to be comedy? Or something? I forget the title - oh, I just remembered, it’s called Sucker - but it’s basically dull porn starring your late-middle-aged neighbor, a dude with crazy eyes and one funny line. Uncomfortable, unfunny and unappealing. I can’t believe people clapped for that. How to Go on a Man Date was cute but took way too long staring at itself in the mirror and Le Weekend was a very tender and ambiguous little film that I really enjoyed. Gay Zombie fucking ruled, as expected. The first time I saw it was at NEVERMORE, during which I realized that the horror film crowd had no clue what to do with a gay romantic comedy and that was half of my enjoyment of the experience. This time around I realized that a gay film festival crowd had no idea what to do with a zombie movie and that was even better. The crowd really got into it after the initial warm-up period, though, and it got a lot of applause. VGL-Hunk was an extremely predictable but enjoyable fantasy with lots of eye candy and terrible sound editing and finally Rock Garden was an absolutely delightful little love story with a sort of Tim Burton feel to it. Overall I liked it and am very glad I stuck with it but seriously, Sucker? Even more embarrassing than that terrible, terrible gay slasher flick they showed last year. They need to be offering 3-D glasses at the door only the lenses should be blacked out and someone should announce when the last, straining thread of Sucker is off the screen so we’ll know when to take the glasses off.

Pageant is a documentary about the 34th annual Miss Gay America contest in which 60+ state and regional pageant winners are competing for that title in Memphis, TN, in a pageant that forbids the use of hormones or makeup. The movie follows five of the contestants and is absolutely enthralling. I’ve only ever done drag once and it was by request so I could perform a mock wedding for some straight friends at their engagement party and that was booger drag on top of that. So, the entire female impersonation scene is as foreign to me as a meeting of the Elks Lodge. I found the subjects fascinating and their stories touching and the film itself really fantastically put together. One of the subjects, Porkchop, was in attendance and now lives in Raleigh and I don’t know, it’s very weird, but out of drag and in person she had a kind of command of the crowd during the Q&A after that was impressive. It wasn’t anything major but one could tell how comfortable she is on stage, interacting with the crowd, in a way I’ve never seen a Q&A participant be before. I think I find it all so fascinating because these are people who have found a way to be comfortable in their own skin by completely changing it. They take this role they’ve created and they live it while the rest of us just stare at clothing catalogues and wish we were thinner or taller or shorter or blonder or whatever. Needless to say, if there were another documentary about the same people in, say, five years? Ten? Oh, I’d watch the hell out of it.

Queen with the Teetering Tiara was another very mixed bag. Cooking with Kay has some laughs in it but it walks that line between cute and offensive. Waiting for Yvette is very good once it gets going and is well worth seeing. The Red Dress is just sort of there, neither great nor not great. It felt filler-y. What the Frock is really cute and satisfying. I’m afraid I left early so I missed It’s Me, Matthew. The absolute best thing about that collection, though, and what (combined with What the Frock and Waiting for Yvette) makes it worth the price of admission? Tranny McGuyver. I would never have predicted that this movie would amuse me as much as it did but it did. It’s about a transvestite idiot cop and her idiot partners and it is hilarious. The humor is often extremely juvenile but their comedic timing is unbeatable and the film doesn’t dawdle over anything. It makes the joke, makes another joke, moves on to the next scene, bam, bam, bam. It hits its mark and it gets the hell off the stage and that is probably why I loved it so much. Seriously, its sense of timing and some really very funny writing and acting are top-notch. This is second only to Gay Zombie in my book and I would gladly go see it again. Also, the star’s blog is hilarious.

In an hour The Boyf and I go see Gay Bed & Breakfast of Terror which really does sound promising and honestly can’t be any worse than that slasher shit from last year, the movie during which some unsober queen sat behind me, leaned forward on the edge of her seat, going, “Oh god! Oh god!” the whole time, the one that featured obnoxious Quebecois pissing off apartment balconies?

Ugh.

So, apparently the Tardis made an appearance in Durham this morning as there were fundamentalist protesters at the film festival, fresh out of 1996. (KJ recollected that was the last NC Pride at which she recalled seeing an organized protest.) Mostly they were of the quiet and dour disposition but one was really bothersomely loud, shouting a sermon from out on the sidewalk by the street. Early in the afternoon a counter-protest arrived and consisted mainly of a woman in an extremely elaborate outfit consisting of pink feathery things and a headdress. I described her to KJ as “double drag,” as she was a woman dressed like a man dressed like a woman. She was loud(er) and enthusiastic and could sing and was very engaging and drew immediate applause and crowd interaction.

Whoever you are, lady in the pink feathers, you rule.

There were several things that occurred to me during the course of the spectacle of that dim shadow of past protests:

1) I have not grown up. I commented to Pants Wilder that on my way out the protesters had better be gone or I was going to have to tell them to go fuck themselves. Happily, they left pretty shortly after they were thoroughly and wonderfully upstaged by the counter-protest. It did remind me of those feelings that used to bubble up when I would volunteer to work as a “peacekeeper” during NC Pride and some tiny, shadow self deep down in my gut would cross its fingers and hope for the chance to beat up a redneck. Not that I would actually do it, I mean, jeez, I’m not an idiot or a bully, but that desire is still there to see the shoe on the other foot for once. (Also, I’m pretty sure my boyfriend would rightly dump me.)

2) My, how times have changed. There were three cops there when the protesters were there and they made me feel… protected. That was gratifying.

3) There were kids - well, 19- or 20-year-olds, college-aged - at this festival who have probably never been to a gay event that was picketed by religious fundamentalists. That hadn’t really occurred to me until I saw a half-dozen Abercrombied young men standing in an arc doing The Masculine Pose - weight on left hip, one foot forward, hands in pockets, sunglasses down - and gaping at the protesters. They have probably never had a bunch of people holding big signs expressing a strong desire to obsess at them about their afterlives and trying to convince them not to do something. They have never seen an organized protest against their own existence. As weird as it is, I am really, really glad those kids had that experience because it doesn’t happen much anymore but it’s a strong reminder of why things like the film festival need to happen in the first place.

4) Somewhat surprisingly, protesters - even young, prematurely soured ones with constipated expressions - will pose for thin-lipped photos with bald old queens and Subaru lesbians. Gods love ‘em, I watched a couple of suburbanite dykes make bunny ears behind one’s head, arms around shoulders, and it brought a tear to my eye.

It was a funny experience that way. Of the five protesters, only one was loud and he was quickly shut down by a double-drag queen. One was having a conversation with someone attending the festival but it was just that: a conversation, a quiet, apparently respectful exchange of views. Two were young, visibly uncomfortable being there and posing for photos with one arm around a queen and the other holding their apparently unironic condemnatory pickets. That one loud guy was having to do, to be frank, a piece of work to keep the hate going.

In the end, I think I’m really glad they were there. We all had a lot of fun, some of it at their expense and some not, and some of us had valuable experiences of what it used to be like pretty much anytime the queer community tried to make a space for itself for a day. So, uh, yeah, protesters. Thanks for coming out. Zing!

The Boyf and I went to see X-Files tonight. Spoiler-containing not-so-brief thoughts below the fold.

Non-spoiler thoughts: it would have made a pretty good episode of the show but maybe not so much a movie with an admission price. There will be nothing lost by waiting to rent it. Better yet, rent the show.

(more…)

Oh, that’s right, there was a specific point I hoped to make and forgot.

You know what makes Indiana Jones awesome? That it’s an action franchise in which the lead is an academic. The character and the films place a high value on learning and applying knowledge. It is one of only two franchises I can think of (the other being Evil Dead) in which the academic is there to do more than supply exposition.

First, a disclaimer: I am flying high on prescribed Vicoprofen at the moment due to having my wisdom teeth out this morning. In dental news, my teeth came out easily and all I had was Novacaine. People keep telling me this is weird, that I should have been knocked out for it, but really, it took minutes to have all four removed. My dentist was awesome. Before the first needle I said, “For the record, I’m a huge wuss and I’ve never had a cavity so I’ve never had any dental work before. Just manhandle me however you need to and I’ll survive.” She proceeded to do so in a way that never hurt, never made me uncomfortable, and the vast majority of the time I had a mix of Kylie Minogue, The Automatic and Darkest of the Hillside Thickets blaring away in my headphones. Yes, that is a weird combination but it totally worked.

Now, movies! Specifically, The Apple and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

I went to see the disco/pop musical The Apple at the Carolina Theatre of Durham on Tuesday night. Let me tell you this: it is high-larious. I was at the late show on a week night so there were maybe a dozen other people in the theatre. Collectively, a baker’s dozen of us laughed harder at that movie than I’ve seen full theatres laugh at intended comedies. Hell, I went to see Some Like It Hot at the Carolina a week or two before that and a half-full theatre laughed less at that very funny film than ten or fifteen of us did at The Apple.

In short, it’s a ham-fisted allegory of the story of Adam & Eve in which at least two thirds of the cast wear head-to-toe silver lamé. Made in 1980, it attempts to predict a very campy, futuristic vision of 1994, when the world is ruled - ruled! - by a music label. The story is of two earnest young Canadian performers (no, really) who are tempted to sign with this all-powerful music label.

What’s completely insane is how much of it is actually pretty good and yet the whole is such a complete trainwreck. The songs aren’t all terrible! There’s some pretty decent choreography. The politics of the movie are spot-on. It’s a film that (senselessly ignorant of its own rightness) manages to predict some measure of the ways labels would try to control consumers’ experience of music. For that matter, it includes the actor who plays Professor Sprout in her first film role.

So what goes wrong? Everything else. The villain’s headquarters look like the chemistry building from a run-down college. Villains drive Jetson-pimped stationwagons and the hoi-polloi drive AMC Gremlins with bubble-domes on top. In every crowd shot - every single crowd shot - there’s at least one woman pushing a triangular, wheeled cart that’s either a stroller, a hot-dog stand or both. It is a train wreck of bad acting, cheap sets, cheap costumes and unintended humor. It’s a movie that’s trying to be campy; what’s weird is that whenever it tries to be campy it fails and when it tries to be serious it’s campy.

It is extremely highly recommended. I am dead serious.

In other news, I went to see Indiana Jones last night and really, really liked it. It’s no War and Peace but it hits all the right notes, it has a single action sequence that lasts at least ten minutes, Harrison Ford very obviously has a ball and Shia LeBeouf manages not to ruin it. In fact, he basically spends the entire movie taking the piss in amusing ways. I realize that I’m on painkillers as I say this but he was… fun to watch (mostly) in this movie. I would not necessarily reject a film outright based on his inclusion in it after this. I must also be honest enough to say that most of my sheer hatred of him comes from Transformers, which is an unconscionably terrible movie in every possible respect and trying to smear him with that project might not be entirely fair.

At any rate, um… yeah. Vicoprofen: the tangent-maker. You have no idea how long it took to type this up.

We made the horrendous error of going to see Doomsday last night.

Actually, The Boyf had to work and Mr. Pink Eyes invited us (myself, Mr. Saturday, Pants Wilder & Anna) to go see the movie on the grounds that it was sure to be so terrible as to be enjoyable in a voyeuristic, trainwrecky way. So, we went. I mildly discomfited the woman behind the snack counter when I, speaking to Messrs. Saturday and Pink Eyes, said, “I know I’m late but, Christ, it’s not like there won’t be fifteen minutes of ads for Everyone Loves fucking Raymond in a place like this.” The place (like this) to which I referred was Southpoint Cinemas, which actually has very comfy chairs and is close to my house but in no other way is a preferred venue.

The movie? Lord. Actually, let me just go ahead and quote Bloom County so that Opus can say it for me: [it] “brought the word ‘BAD’ to new levels of badness. Bad acting. Bad effects. Bad everything. This film just oozed rottenness from every bad scene … Simply bad beyond all infinite dimensions of possible badness …

“Well maybe not that bad, but Lord, it wasn’t good.”

There is actually an extended action/chase sequence towards the end that I had to respect for its portrayal of chaos and inelegance while at the same time being obviously tightly controlled and quite elegantly choreographed. There end the collected good bits of this movie.

The bad parts, in no particular order:

  • What a wild coincidence that the last craft to fly over Scotland would be a Hot Topic supply plane carrying a thousand copies of The Anarchist’s Cookbook.
  • Cannibals? Really? Because there isn’t nearly enough meat on one guy for all those punks.
  • I am convinced in my heart of hearts that they thought they would get a PG-13 rating and when the R came down they just said, Ah, fuck it, let’s see what we can do. At that point it officially became a snuff film.
  • At some point after the script had been “written” and filming had started some creative elements behind the scenes - writers, producers maybe, I dunno - got extremely high and one of them said, “Dude, just picture it: Lord of the Rings vs. Mad freakin’ Max, man!” and no one objected because they already knew the movie would be terrible and in fact it could not be further damaged by such an idea.
  • New subtitle: Vampire: the Masquerade meets Ye Olde Evil Renaissance Fair.
  • “Gift Shop” may be the funniest sign I have ever seen in any movie.
  • It is tremendously disheartening to learn that even the postapocalyptic genre can find a spot for product placement.

Today was more of a mixed bag. Three movies I did see:

Nobody: This is the first film - of any length, not just first feature - by the writer/director/producer, Shawn Linden, who is here in Durham for the festival and does a Q&A with each showing, and it is fan-fucking-tastic. Dark, creeping suspense and genuine horror mixed with a sort of sci-fi feel, set in the 1950’s in Winnipeg. Gods, what a fantastic film. It’s playing at 6pm tomorrow (Sunday) and well worth seeing. Just a superb film, made all the more remarkable by being a first film.

Brain Dead: I walked out after twenty minutes. This was unbelievably terrible. It’s not even the so-bad-it’s-good sort of bad, it’s simply a huge waste of time and effort. This is precisely what I was talking about in my comment on my own post below, a comedy-horror in which every joke is made at someone else’s expense and has absolutely zero to redeem it. It’s not just that the humor is so cynical, though; the jokes are lame, the writing awful, the delivery terrible. Its target audience is clearly thirteen-year-old boys but, you know what? There are better movies - better lame-ass, tits-galore comedy-horror movies - aimed at thirteen-year-old boys. A waste of $5 and twenty minutes of my life. The obvious laugh lines landed like a ton of bricks and the audience around me was dead silent.

Highlander: We’ve all seen it a million times but I’ve never seen it on the big screen. Word around the festival is that there can be only one… print; or at least that there is only one print and the Carolina is lucky enough to have it for one weekend. The crowd was into it and it still retains its charm, what with Sean Connery gnawing the scenery down to matchsticks and Lambert doing that “Scottish” accent of his. There are a couple of really abrupt jumps in this print, as it’s had to be spliced over the years here and there, but those were a part of the experience we were all having together of seeing this old classic. Still, the feature film? Really? Nobody would have been my pick in a heartbeat.

Sadly, there are no more showings of “They’re Coming To Get You, Barbra,” the shorts collection featuring Gay Zombie and Zombie Love. I don’t know why the Nevermore folks think everyone would rather watch Highlander again than be exposed to once-in-a-lifetime films like those, but they’re the ones who know their audience, not me. That I got any chance to see them at all was fantastic - and the Carolina did an even better job, if anything, of welcoming the NEVERMORE crowd with open arms. Still, given my druthers, I would have watched the comedic shorts again - paid to watch them again - rather than Highlander.

All I managed to catch tonight was the shorts collection, titled “They’re Coming To Get You, Barbra!” Some quickie reviews:

Fathers-In-Law: Cute, with a satisfyingly gory finish.

Prombies: Actually… kind of disappointing. The first three or four minutes are extremely funny but after that you’ve pretty much heard the joke they keep making.

Gay Zombie: Hysterically funny. I could sense the audience around me growing uncomfortable because this is a film that proudly wears its stereotypes on its sleeve but they’re what made it for me. I don’t know anyone involved in making the film except that I know everyone in the film. Todd’s flamer friend = The Diva, the closet-case hottie = Matt LeQ, etc., etc. It’s a queer rom-com that happens to have a zombie in one of the roles and I think that’s what left some in the audience squirming. Gods, but I laughed. I probably pissed people off, I laughed so much. This was an absolutely unexpected but utter delight.

Zombie Love: The best movie ever made. Period. Christ, people, it has a number done in the style of Bollywood, sung in actual Hindi! (Or maybe it’s Urdu, I don’t know.) The crowd broke into applause when the credits rolled. I heard someone after say that she didn’t like it because the songs are really, really long and yes, the songs are really long and, for me, that’s part of what’s so funny. I just loved everything about this movie. I can’t explain it beyond that. I can’t provide detail or analysis, it’s just hilarious.

I bumped into Phil Lee in the vendor room and he reported that Tenebre is in fact all that and a side of fries so I am putting that on the schedule for tomorrow as well as Los Cronocrímenes and probably another round of the same shorts because I so want to make Mr. Saturday watch them. Also high on my list to see: Nobody and the collection of shorts titled “666.”

The Boyf, in his eternal awesomeness, scored us passes to a sneak preview of Diary of the Dead last night, then took me out for sushi and fine cocktails. Yes, we went to watch a zombie movie and then went out to eat raw meat after. I cannot think of a more fabulous Valentine’s Day. It was completely awesome.

Now, the big question - especially after Land of the Dead - is whether Romero’s still got it in him to make a good zombie movie. The answer: yes, sometimes despite the script’s best efforts. Diary of the Dead really is a good, scary, sometimes touching zombie movie. Let’s break that down, though, because it does have some issues.

The cast consists of a Type II collection of Assorted College Students: the woman from Austin who says “Don’t mess with Texas!” more than once, the brooding guy from Queens, the tense girlfriend, the alcoholic film studies professor, the cute nerdy guy who barely has a line. The story is of their collective attempt to escape from Pittsburgh and drive an aging RV to the tense girlfriend’s family home in Scranton, PA.

It is impossible, at this point in the history of horror films, to sit down and watch the movie without fighting the temptation to keep a who-gets-eaten scorecard. The film tries to spice up the beginning so that it’s not just a promenade meant to give names and faces to the targets by making the whole thing a little over-the-top meta: it’s a film-within-a-film, entirely seen through one of two cameras being carried by the narrators since the core cast are all film students who had been out working on a class project. It doesn’t really work to prevent the viewer from still seeing the cast as a lineup of zombies-to-be but it makes the process of introductions so mechanical and so overt that one has to give them credit for trying.

As to the horror itself, this isn’t like, say, Dawn of the Dead, where the horror is that sense of overwhelming numbers of zombies milling around and no way to get around them and it’s not even like the attempted feel of Day of the Dead where the cast are surrounded on all sides but walled in and have a false sense of fleeting control over their circumstances. No, no, no. This film goes right back to his roots, right back to Night of the Living Dead and its oppressive, creeping horror derived not from the presence of zombies outside but the pressures of shock and distrust and fear boiling up in the people inside.

That is the tremendous success of this film: that the moments of abject terror - and there are moments that made a crowd clearly hardened on the front lines of NEVERMORE and RETROFANTASMA cry out as one, usually followed by open applause - are moments of claustrophobia, tight spaces, dim light, a vacuum filled not by gore but by the shallow, labored breathing of people who don’t know what’s around the corner or find a place they’ve always gone to for help - say, a hospital - to be anything but safe. This is a film that respects the power of empty spaces filled up by the mind rather than caves or everglades packed full of monsters.

That said, it has moments that probably weren’t supposed to be laugh lines but got roaring guffaws from that same NEVERMORE/RETRO crowd. There are lines meant to be profound that one can almost hear clank when they come out of a character’s mouth, scenes that hit the screen with an audible thud. What inspires one to forgive such stumbles are the unexpected but certain steps that almost always immediately follow, in which something happens that feels very real and very sincere without bearing a cumbersome freight of earnestness: a line that was meant as a toss-off or might even have been spontaneous that strikes right at the heart of the matter at hand, a delivery that makes one’s innards roil in fear at the sudden realization that the awful situation of the film didn’t actually go away because of a fumbled laugh-line five seconds before. As we were walking out, The Boyf said, “The moments of profundity fell flat but the moments of reality were profound.”

The other thing that made this film really work for me was having watched a documentary about American horror films and their makers at NEVERMORE a few years ago. In it they interviewed George Romero and also interviewed his long-time friend and collaborator, Tom Savini, and asked what inspired them. Savini explained that he was an Army war photographer in Vietnam. Savini is perfectly calm through his description of the way he coped with photographing a real person whose skull had been split open by telling himself he was studying - just studying - for a later film career but it’s clear by the simple admission that he needed a fantastical distraction to do that job that it was deeply affecting. Here he’s made a film about a documentarian trapped in a horrific situation of death and conflict and fear - a fear of enemies that sometimes can’t be identified until one is too close to do anything to defend against an attack - that grows to include two documentarians, then more as the others cooperate with being documented, and on and on and on.

I can’t escape feeling that this is Romero trying to tell us the horrible things that he knows or imagines must have replayed inside Savini’s head when he answered that simple question for a documentarian a few years ago. He’s trying to tell us, with all these scenes of horror in a wooded countryside, a horror about which the government and the media lie until it’s too late, a horror that first touches the poor and middle class who have fewer escapes but from which the rich can hide, what Savini felt forty years ago. In its own way, it’s almost a real documentary. Reflecting on that while I watched Diary of the Dead, I found it impossible not to be horrified. All the clunky lines and ham-fisted profundity in the world couldn’t take away that kernel of first-hand experience at the heart of the film.

Also, the Amish guy totally ruled.

Some further thoughts I realized I forgot to include: Romero is clearly trying to address or at least reflect our more contemporary fears as he always does, and not just tell us the story of his good friend Tom Savini (in the first of Romero’s films not to include Savini in a very, very long time). The film strives to remind us of the failures of Katrina - including some Katrina footage - as well as the paranoid fear that grips us six years and change after the most recent terrorist attack in the US. It tries to incorporate the tensions of a society in which suburbanites have alarm systems and the wealthy have fenced properties and panic rooms and everyone seems resigned to living in a surveillance society, yes, but it never felt to me like it was about those things in the way Day of the Dead is about the Cold War or Night of the Living Dead was about the conflicts that center on class or race. There’s probably an argument to be made that the film-within-a-film element is a commentary on the age of YouTube and there is some explicit commentary about whether a highly connected society actually finds objective truth by filtering it through a greater number of subjective reports but for all the elements clearly meant to pick at our contemporary psychic scabs I kept going back to the horror of watching all this happen and the comfort some characters find in seeing it all happen through a camera even though they’re the ones holding the camera. That just screamed at me of Savini’s experiences, over and over, until it drowned out anything to be found or said about our world today.

I spent the vast majority of this weekend sitting in the dark staring at a screen but this weekend it was not my computer screen. Amazing! A few thoughts after having seen the choice selections on offer at ESCAPISM! at the Carolina Theatre of Durham:

Black Sheep: How did a world as terrible as ours produce something this perfect? Possibly the funniest movie I have ever seen. I’m not joking. I loved it. Perfect in every way. Flesh-eating sheep, weresheep, hot, hot Kiwi men. Perfection. I can’t begin to tell you why it’s good. You just have to watch it.

Netherbeast, Incorporated: How did a world that contains Dave Foley manage to produce this dreck? An ambitious failure at its best. A lot of great ideas on display and some stellar performances but the sound is awful, the lighting is awful, the editing is awful and from scene to scene it’s hard to believe that it was filmed with any sort of whole story in mind. I bet it looked great on paper. I bet it was hilarious when they were sitting around brainstorming it, high as a Georgia pine and seeing twice as many stars. I just wish it were consistent, watchable and that they’d given Dave Foley something to do. Actually, what I wish is that they could reshoot it with the same cast and an entirely different crew and a budget of some substance.

Apocalypse Oz: The premise is that it’s an action short (~25 minutes) in which all dialogue comes from either Apocalypse Now or The Wizard of Oz. The story itself, such as it is, leaves a lot of room for the viewer’s imagination in a way that completely worked for me; I was ready to declare it an important piece of work about one of the least-examined questions of race relations in modern America. The Boyf felt that it was a good short that had some troubled spots. I thought it was almost flawless. I’ll admit that the Wicked Witch hams it up in an uncomfortably pinched sort of way but otherwise I loved it. I would watch it again and again.

The Norman Rockwell Code: The opening credits are the funniest thing in it and they don’t feature any of the actors or any of the plot. This should be indicative that the rest of it is just a waste. I can’t believe someone filmed this. The gag is that Barney Fife’s community college symbologist son has to investigate a crime that occurs at the Norman Rockwell Museum, attempting a spoof on The Da Vinci Code. It is just dreadful from start to finish. The only sounds in the theatre were the cries of disbelief from the couple seated behind us. I kept having to fight the urge to laugh at them. The movie never even tempted a smile out of me.

Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan: It’s a digitally remastered 25th anniversary print that had never been shown before this weekend and it is beautiful. Memo to the cackleboxes in the balcony: you are assholes. I didn’t come to listen to you flirt with each other. Everyone outside was talking about you after the movie. You are assholes. When Biscuit has to be the one to provide me with a more sensible frame of mind in which to examine your behavior then it is a bad, bad scene, my friends. The end.

Tron: Another 25th anniversary showing. Gods, what a beautiful movie. I’d long forgotten what a Tron reunion Babylon 5 turned out to be. The inner child oohed and ahhed appropriately. The inner 33-year-old wonders whether Jeff Bridges got the only over-the-shoulder crotch flap because he was showing too much or too little batch in that leotard. Pants Wilder rightly suggested that if it had been too little batch that Bridges could have simply stuffed it. Point to Jeff Bridges’ movie-wrecking manhood.

Cthulhu: It’s based on a story that wasn’t about Cthulhu, but I can deal. Word is that the movie was great but the sound quality was terrible. Another after-the-fact editing disaster? I would find that deeply disappointing. I didn’t get to see it but I have high hopes that an opportunity to change that will present itself soon.

The Monster Squad: What a cheeseball dorkfest. I loved it. I loved it as a kid and I love it now. Plus, cast reunion, right there on the stage! I love nothing more than when the army shows up and asks for Eugene. Gods, it gives me goosebumps thinking about it. That is a movie that manages to find the Childlike Wonder button and give it a good, hard mash. I doubt everyone holds it in such regard but it just works for me. I’m in the goddamn club, ain’t I? remains one of the best lines ever delivered on screen.

Endurance Challenge: Mordred’s Isle: A short featuring one of the cast of Futurama; to be precise, two shorts included in the same set that gave us Apocalypse Oz, The Norman Rockwell Code and The Toll (a cute but forgettable mockumentary featuring some really excellent CGI). Endurance Challenge was hilarious and the only thing in there to help Oz pull the stinking corpse of The Norman Rockwell Code behind it.

The Carolina really goes above and beyond to cater to its target audience with these film festivals and this year’s ESCAPISM! was no different. For all that I was disappointed in Netherbeast and for all that I can’t believe anyone would dare submit The Norman Rockwell Code to anyone for anything other than a bonfire, I wouldn’t have gotten a chance to see any of these without the hard work of the theatre staff. I have nothing but appreciation for the fine, fine work they do and the great time I and many friends had at the theatre over the course of the weekend.

The Boyf and I went to see Inland Empire last night at the Carolina Theatre of Durham. This morning I sent an email to Mr. Pink Eyes to tell him what I thought about it and my email said, simply, that I was strumming my lips with my finger and going, “Burblurblurblurblurble.” He asked whether this was a good burble or a loony burble. My response is below the fold in case you don’t want to read another’s impressions before you see it.

(more…)

OK, so The Host (note: lots of flash and window-resizing, etc.) is frickin’ awesome. It’s a South Korean monster movie crossed with Little Miss Sunshine. So very, very strange. And good.

And strange.

I can’t really describe it beyond that. It’s just… yeah. Watch it if you get the chance.

Also, a funny lobby convo right before the movie:

Me: You should see Beach Party when it comes out on DVD.
Mr. Saturday: Is it good?
Me: It’s this year’s American Astronaut, yeah, it’s good.

Then a woman in front of us in line whips around - whips, like she’s standing on a rotating floor plate - and says, wide-eyed: Did I hear someone mention American Astronaut?

Me: Yeah, you did.
Woman: Oh God, I love that movie. Did you see it?
Me: Totally!
Woman: Do you have the DVD? I have the DVD.
Me: Yeah, I have the DVD, it’s fantastic.
Woman: So you’re saying Beach Party is good?
Me: Yeah, it’s good.
Woman: This year’s American Astronaut?
Me: Yeah, I’d say so.
Woman (pointing at her date, nearby): I make him watch American Astronaut all the time. (Turning to said guy.) This guy says Beach Party is this year’s American Astronaut. You know, Beach Party at the Threshold of Hell, the movie I wanted to see.

This weekend is, if you didn’t know, Nevermore at the Carolina Theatre of Durham. For this year’s weird dichotomy, there’s a children’s chess tournament or conference or thing going on at the Civic Center next door. Walking through the lobby of the Carolina I was surrounded by vintage horror posters and props and TVs playing trailers and such and then I walked through the double doors into the Civic Center to grab a bite to eat and was surrounded by hyper-intelligent children running, screaming, in every available direction. Their parents pile into hallways and fiddle with laptop computers while they, between matches, play handheld game consoles. The bar of the Marriott was unusually - seriously, way unusually - full of parents who looked lost in a kind of fog. I do love Nevermore weekend.

I’ve seen two of the full-length films - Dead Alive and Beach Party at the Threshold of Hell - and the collection of shorts titled Anthology of Errata.

Dead Alive is, of course, a classic. If I remember correctly it’s Peter Jackson’s first film. This is easily the goriest movie ever made but it’s also one of the funniest. Timothy Balme - whom you’ve likely seen nowhere else unless you’re a fan of New Zealand television shows - is simply incredible at physical comedy and his sheer physicality - incredible flexibility and the sort of precision necessary to pull off performed clumsiness - is really what sells the rest of the movie. Dead Alive is a zombie movie, yes, but it’s much more a romantic comedy than anything else. If you watch this movie and don’t laugh then there’s something wrong with you (or you just don’t like it, I guess?).

The collection of shorts has a number of really great films in it. Night of the Hell Hamsters is a fun bit of gore with some genuinely hilarious moments. Facility 4 is deeply creepy and a part of its creep factor is the business-like reaction of the soldiers in it; I think there’s potentially a real discussion to be had there. The Listening Dead is a beautiful few minutes. Zombie Hunter kind of left me rolling my eyes but I liked it. A Nevermore first: I couldn’t sit through all of Oculus. I was watching it by myself, sitting in the balcony, and I just had to get up and walk out. Itsy-Bitsy is probably what ties Facility 4 for being my favorite of the whole collection. The entire collection plays again tomorrow (Sunday) at 2pm in Fletcher Hall.

Finally, I just - like, an hour ago - got out of Beach Party at the Threshold of Hell. This is definitely this year’s American Astronaut: a really fun, funny movie made even better by the fact the cast is so obviously having fun, too, staged and shot in a way that really creates and maintains a sense of the characters’ charisma. Another similarity to American Astronaut is the clever way in which the makers employ the limited resources available to any independent film so that they come away with a really glossy, finished product but have almost nothing in the way of sets and a relatively tiny cast. The story itself is hard to encapsulate, but it’s a post-apocalyptic political campaign with a Kennedy determined to become Vice-King of New America. His girlfriend is named Cannibal Sue. Pants Wilder plucked the thought from my mind when he noted how shocked he was the makers didn’t mention Fallout as an inspiration. Richard III? Really? You could have said Fallout. It would have been OK.

The writer/director/star, producer/star and a lot of the technical crew were in attendance and did a fun little Q&A after the movie. It won’t be playing again this weekend but they’re trying to hammer out a distribution deal for 20 cities this summer and a DVD this autumn and have plans for two more films about the characters in the film. Also there’s a comic about the robots Yul and Quincy at their website.

Next Page »