So, here’s the deal with Amtrak: it is a fresh, exciting way to experience new and invigorating problems with commercial travel. If you tire of the annoyances of flying, give the train a try; its annoyances will at least be a change of scenery.

In truth, I actually enjoyed the train a great deal. I kind of wish I’d driven, but only kind of. I kind of wish I’d flown, but only kind of. My main beef with the train is that it was 2 hours late both going up and getting back. Once I was on it, it ran exactly on time; getting to me so that I could get on it, however, was another story.

Even that, however, is something I suspect I could largely have avoided by taking a different train. The one I took was the Silver Star, which runs overnight from Miami to New York (or vice versa). In either direction it has numerous opportunities to get its schedule all fucked up way before it ever gets to me. All weekend, and for days before, the Carolinian (which does a shorter overall jaunt but takes slightly longer to arrive) ran precisely on time. I think I want to take the train to DC again, the next time I go, but I want to take the Carolinian and see how it compares.

In fact, it’s easy to imagine that a lot of the annoyances of the train might be solved by taking the Carolinian: it has a business class car, meaning even more comfortable seats, personal power outlets, the possibility of not having a seat-mate, etc. It stops more frequently, meaning more leg-stretches. It runs at a later hour of the morning, meaning less annoyance about showing up at the station on time to find out the train is running two hours late. Given the tremendous distance covered by the Silver Star, I realized later, it tends to be packed and I imagine the Carolinian may be less traveled.

That said, there were some pretty awesome things to be said for the train. Napping: good. Gameboy when awake: awesome. Having a cocktail: equally awesome. Having a hot breakfast in the dining car: cafeteria food at best, but gods was I hungry and a sit-down meal was right there. Comfortable seating in coach, with two foot-rests and enough leg room to cross even my 6’3″ self’s legs? Check! I was kind of stunned at how comfortable the seating was, to be honest. Reclining seats that really recline! I approve!

Overall, the thing I liked best: traveling by train is a much more honest cross-section of society than flying or driving. Also, there’s a lot more people-watching to do.

The one observation that really stood out for me, though, above all, not as a value judgment but just as, you know, something surprising: the complete absence of security hassles. When I checked my bag in DC, on the way back, they asked if I had anything perishable or breakable.

That was it.

No metal detectors, no taking my shoes off, no standing in line for two hours. To be honest, if I’m going to spend two hours sitting around waiting to leave I’d rather spend them playing Gameboy and sitting down than standing around holding my shoes and waiting for the TSA to finish fisting the granny in front of me. As a result of this, I am now convinced that anyone who ever gets caught trafficking drugs within the United States is a certified idiot. Amtrak is just sitting there, waiting to not give a shit what you bring on the train. They have bigger concerns, like trying to make up two hours between Raleigh and DC in the middle of heavy rains and winds with a bunch of “slow orders,” as the conductor called them, in between.