Cutting to the chase, a discussion on the mailing list for my guild eventually included Pants Wilder joking that what might turn us away from wanting to ally with another guild for the purpose of doing big raids would be if a guild were to, for example, say grace before every pull (a “pull” being when the group positions itself and then attacks a specific target creature, or “mob”). It led me to write this, which non-WoW-nerds will probably find unintelligible, and which has been lightly edited from the original:

THE SCENE: A ten-man group hides around a corner in UBRS, waiting for Jed to approach.

Raid Leader: Oh Lord, we thank you for your generosity in providing this rare spawn elite, and we ask that you shield our tank –

Priest: Wait, I thought I was shielding the rogue so he could sap…

Raid Leader: (It’s metaphor, shut up) (cough) We ask that you shield our tank and guide the poisoned daggers of our rogue, claws of our druid and spells of our casters –

Warlock: Actually, according to the backstory of the world I’m probably not hip with The Light, or vice versa, FYI.

Paladin: Wait, shouldn’t I be the one leading us in prayer if the priest isn’t? Or if they’re in, you know, Shadow Form. (pause) Cuz that’s almost certainly sacrilegious. (pause) If you think about it.

Raid Leader: SHUT UP WE ARE NOT AN RP GUILD – spellsofourcasters (waits for objection) sothattheymayDPSthefuckoutofthismobENDOFDISCUSSIONamen.

Druid: Cat durid don’t talk about fite

(silence)

Druid: Also, eqwul time 4 Cenarius plzkthx