So, sticking to my vacation mission statement announced last week, I have been sitting on my ass. Here’s what I’ve discovered:

The Garden:
It is late-mid-January, and I have flowers starting to come up. Some of them have already started to bloom. Welcome to the apocalypse.

MST3K:
Hercules Unchained is a terrible movie (with Steve Reeves in the title role), but the MST3K of it is awesome. A touch slow to start, but by the end it was pretty hysterical. Interestingly, Hercules and the Moon Men is pretty much exactly the reverse of that: really well done at the beginning, which had me screaming with laughter, but just dull by the end. It’s a much worse movie, minus the MST3K treatment, and the MST3King of it is pretty lackluster as well.

The House:
My new cordless hand-vacuum is awesome.

Toys:
Handheld wi-fi signal finders are way more fun than they should be.

The Interwebs:
To answer a few questions people apparently came here hoping to resolve:
–Yes, if the onions have sprouted green bits, you should throw them away.
–No, we have no videos of dogs, er, you know.
–No, I will not tell you how to “borrow” your neighbor’s wireless signal. If you can’t figure that one out for yourself, you’ve got no business even goddamn trying. I mean, Jesus H.
American Astronaut is a totally awesome movie and rather than run around looking for a torrent for it you should just fucking buy it. For fuck’s sake, they give you a CD with it and it only costs $20 in the first fucking place. Don’t sit there and ever claim you support independent artists if you download American Astronaut from BitTorrent and don’t pay for it.
–I’m sorry Vampire: the Masquerade: Redemption is crashing on you, but I didn’t have that problem when I played it. I suggest powering back the graphics settings and seeing how that treats you. If it works, crank them back up incrementally. I didn’t have crashing issues, but I did have hella framerate issues. I found by dialing back the graphics just slightly I was able to get much better performance out of the game.
–No, for the last time, I do not sell camo pants.